Can't please everyone

and don't want to.

You're with your best friend and you get a harmless juicy gossip about someone, what will you do? You might either enjoy every bit of it on a boring day or you might not make a big deal out of it on a busy one. At max, you might keep talking and discussing about it.

And finally you move on.

Because it really does not matter to you.

Let's not give undue importance to ourselves too. The truth is no one cares that much about you or me. And you know what? We should be happy about this.

The Iceberg of Social Validation

The fear of what others might think sinks a lot of dreams (maybe more than even a real iceberg does)

Ironically, this iceberg is what we often want to have. As far as I am concerned, I have understood that there were 2 types of such icebergs I was a sucker for. The first one being the validation from the people in my close circle and the second being from the rest of the society.

1. The Close Circle

I believe this is the biggest iceberg we come across and that it is next to impossible to bring it down to a 0. Because these are the people who are important to you and you don't want to shoo them away or hurt them at any cost. They matter to you. So, this one often feels like "I need it" but in most cases, you don't. 😇

If it is something trivial I want to do like putting on my shimmery shirt and designer pink pants to a vegetable market - there is going to be no issue. If my people decide to poke me for every eccentric decision of mine, I understand that it is time to not pay much heed to it because obviously they're close enough to not disown me for that xD.

But it's different when it involves something a little more serious because in such cases if we go against what they feel is right, we have the fear of hurting their sentiments. We need not have that fear though. It is fair enough to try and justify your choice to the people you love but you do not need to every time. They might not trust the process initially but with time, there's a high chance you'll be better understood. So, hang on to your choice if you must <3.

2 . The Distant & the Irrelevant

Coming back to Jade from our previous blog. She wanted to be liked by almost everyone she knew. She definitely did not like that many people. Liking everyone is next to impossible. Then how does she expect to be liked by every other person?

A problem which might seem like a crisis for you might not look that much of an issue to me. Because I don't know your story like you do. Me belittling your problems or asking you to change your well thought decision based on my perception should not affect you much.

The unsolicited opinions of the people who are irrelevant in our lives are like that iceberg which is not even in our path. We can choose to see it if we want to or completely ignore their existence if we don't want to. Because does it even matter?

Whenever needed I remind myself that while it is not my responsibility to make everyone around me happy, it is solely my responsibility to free myself from the burden of being a people pleaser.

Simplify

Having said all this, I do agree that the most of the times it is not easy to completely shield yourself away from the expectations of others. The best in me comes out when I am comfortable in my own skin. It must be the same with you too. Maybe because it is an effortless task for me to be just me and for you to be just you. There have been a couple of instances when I have drifted away from myself in order to fit in or in an attempt to be understood. The moment I feel someone's opinions or response has more control on me than myself - I feel powerless and we definitely do not want that!

Which is why in 2023, let us escape the noise sometimes to simplify our lives. Do whateverrr you want without a twinge of guilt. People can take good care of themselves, you take care of you😋

<3,

Rashmi