The Unfair Paradigm

Unfair life, stubborn spirit

A miraculous event transcends rationality and exceeds expectations. There's no specific logic to it.

One of these wins I experienced when in school. During the games period, we had a sports test one day, and basketball was the first sport to be tested. One task involved attempting to shoot the ball into the hoop from a close range, while the other task required shooting from a longer distance. Almost everyone got the close-range goal except me, and believe me, I was one of the very few in the entire class (if not the only one) who got the ball in the basket in the longer-distance shot on the first try!!

I still don't know how it worked. Maybe it was the sheer embarrassment I faced after the first miss that made me put my entire focus on the second task. Whatever it was, that feeling was lovely and I call it one of my miraculous wins! 😂

What is fair and what is not?

When we talk about how bad life has been for someone, we usually attribute it to their hard luck and say how unfair life has been to them. And vice-versa if circumstances start being a little too nice for someone else. But to be honest, where is this rule book of what is fair and what is not?

A beautiful example would be this infamous Olympic story. Alexandra Trusova was just a 17-year-old Russian girl when she won a silver medal in Olympics figure skating in 2022. What a wonderful achievement at such a young age! But she openly felt wronged and believed that she deserved the 1st place; so much that she even said that she hated the sport and that she wouldn't step on the ice again.

Why so?

Probably because she thought it was unfair that she attempted a history-making 5 quads in the free skate whereas her opponent did not. Conversely, some argue that her opponent's play was more fluid and artistic and that Trusova was unable to land perfectly in two of the five, which is why some of her points were deducted.

Was it a fair decision?

We all can have opinions but for sure there is no unanimous answer to this.

The story's lesson is that you might be ready with your best Indo-Western fusion choreography but the judge might be impressed by the simple yet enthralling pure classical performance of your opponent more. Your dance fits with the theme (you believe) but that's not what the judges' thinking aligns with.

5 things I do when I feel "THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Here are 5 things I do when I feel "THIS ISN'T FAIR!" (everything in caps very much intentionally, so that you get the feel too.) -

1. Accept the reality

Many say that it isn't healthy to try to find a reason behind it. I feel it is okay sometimes to think about the "why". Either accept the rationale and find peace with it, or move straight on to step three if the situation is irreversible or illogical.

2. Or fight it

Imagine a scenario in which everything appears incredibly unfair. If you think you have the power to affect change - take a stand for it, even if it's just once, and see what difference you can make.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Being present in a true sense will help bring clarity to a situation. Using our emotional energy sensibly allows us to focus on the important things in life and overcome the feeling that something is unjust.

4. Repeat "Every dog has his day"

Don't know whether it's true but I like to believe that everyone gets their due, in one form or another. If it is unfair for me today, tomorrow something cool & unexpected can happen to me too.

5. Let go & Move on

If it is not in our control, what use of running a toxic overthinking loop in the mind? Might as well liberate yourself from that cycle and move on. 💗

Wait for your miracle

Having said all this, there will be instances in your life too when some miraculous little moments like my second basketball shot, would have been looked down upon as unfair or unworthy by many. So in case you are not getting the fruit to the work you put in, know that maybe there is a miracle waiting for you right around the corner. 💕

<3,

Rashmi